I like to think of myself as a patient, understanding and kind hearted person. This has been put in severe jeopardy. It is the people who either can't count or (I'm kind of flattered by this despite myself) think that I can read their minds, that are poking my mind with red hot rods of annoyance.

Let's begin:

"I'll have some of those."  (I'm sorry, "some" is not a numerical figure. Should I just throw in Ten? Twenty? Sales have been kind of down lately... how about Fivehundred?) I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. "Few" & "Several" also fall into this catagory.

"Give me a couple of those." (I put in two accordingly.) "Oh! I need more than that!" A couple is two you freaks! Hence "a couple".

This is how it works people:

A couple = 2

Few = not many

Several = more than 2 but not many

Some = an unspecified amount

Should you continue to use vaguish requests, I will be forced to use my own discretion. (Which may or may not involve biting.)

If you can manage to decide on a specific number, there are the classics:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 (Even more incredible, these numbers can be re-aranged to make more numbers.)

And before I close this diatribe, there's one more group I want to address:

The ones who hold out their hand like a claw and say. "About this much." (When did your hand become an accepted system of measurement?)

or

 Don't worry this is the last one...

"I'll take a handfull." (Inevitably they complain that the amount was too small!) What sized hand were you referring to? Did you even look at what size my hands are? I'm not exactly the jolly green giant here.

Well that's it. I feel much better now. I'm sure you're wondering what the hell I do for a living... well you should wonder - that was a pretty weird rant.

Dungeon Bunny